Let's face it. Avocados are pretty damn queer.

They are constantly assumed to be something they are not - many people think the fruit is a vegetable or a nut (for its near 100% protein content).

Like a queer-identifying individual, an avocado must retain a firm exterior until it is ready to soften up to people. And avocados (like queers) are mostly found in California.

While an avocado can express its identity in endless ways and with a variety of partners, there is one way to cut an avocado that makes for a most fabulous presentation.

Step 1) Hold the avocado firmly in your palm, and with a knife, cut into it lengthwise from the top. When your knife reaches the pit in the center, cut around the pit in a circular motion until you are left with two avocado halves.

Step Two) Hold the avocado half with the pit it in in your palm, and with your knife hit the center of the pit firmly so that the knife is wedged into it. Turn the knife counter-clockwise, and if the blade is wedged deep enough, the pit will turn as well. Pull it out.

Step 3) Bring the pitted avocado half back into your palm. With your knife, cut into the avocado lengthwise from right to left, with the blade just grazing the inside of the skin. Be careful not to press to hard so that the knife does not go through the skin and injure you. The slices should look like the strings of a mandolin, about 1/2 inch from each other.With a spoon, scoop out the avocado slices from the back, bringing them out of the skin.

Place the slices on top or on the side of any dish, and enjoy! The fruit will know that you, an avocado-ally, have provided a safe space for it express itself.

*Technique courtesy of Susan Lawrence, my friend Kyle's mom.